Installment One - Meet Leon

Billy: Mr. Czolgosz-
Czolgosz: Please; Leon.
Billy: Leon, what was it like to hear Emma Goldman speak for the first time?
Czolgosz: It was if I had been struck by lightning, you know, there was this tremendous energy in the room.
Billy: I suppose you are the expert in that area... Who is your favorite woman political leader currently serving in office or running for office?
Czolgosz: There have been no good women in office—no good men, either. Besides Emma, Louise Michel would have been my favorite woman who should have run for office.
Billy: Did you ever meet her? If you had the opportunity and could thank her for one thing; one act, one idea, what would it have been?
Czolgosz: No, we never met. I like that she refused to recognize Napoleon III as leader. She should have shot him.
Billy: If you could choose to live anywhere in the world today, where would it be? Czolgosz: I think Paris would fit me nice. They have a better government system, I think.
Billy: ...So...not for the fries?
Czolgosz: No, you brat kid. French fries are not from Paris; they from Belgium.
Billy: The United States has a capitalist mixed economy. Would you have chosen Capitalism for our society? If not, then what economic system or ideology would you have chosen (i.e. Communist, Socialist, Laissez-faire)?
Czolgosz: Laissez-faire and Socialism, of course, would be better. Anarchism is best.
Billy: Did you ever consider becoming a robber and just sticking it to “the man” before you shot the President? You could have distributed the money amongst the poor like Robin Hood or something? What about a pirate?
Czolgosz: That would have done no good. I could not help as many people that way.
Billy: How do you want to be remembered?
Czolgosz: I did some good for the country. I am hoping people think more about others who have less than they do.
Billy: It’s 2008. Looking back, if you could choose any President to assassinate other than McKinley who would it be and why?
Czolgosz: W. would be my next choice. He just about as bad as Bill McKinley.
Billy: Do you have any regrets?
Czolgosz: No. I done my job.
Billy: Who's your 2008 Presidential pick?
Czolgosz: I don’t like any of them.
Billy: Oh yeah, anarchy... No President, right?
Czolgosz: None of the clown-people running for President this year are a good fit as leader. Let the good people run their own country!
Billy: Who would you have dinner with?
Czolgosz: Emma Goldman, of course, anytime.
Billy: Why Emma? Is there something you would like to tell her, say to her, that you didn't have a chance to say before or for the good conversation, good company? Was she your BFF (Best Friends Forever)?
Czolgosz: What is this “BFF?” Is this one of your brat things? Emma is good person. I will always be in love with Emma. Everything about her is beautiful.
Billy: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Czolgosz: I think I would like to work in cheese factory.
Billy: Do you have a favorite curse word?
Czolgosz: I do not curse. I do not get mad. I get even.
Billy: What's a word you love?
Czolgosz: Blood.
Billy: You're kind of freaking me out. How about a word you hate?
Czolgosz: Aristocrat.
Billy: Coke or Pepsi?
Czolgosz: Coke.
Billy: Would you like to share any final thoughts, anything you would like to say before the end of this interview?
Czolgosz: I killed the president because he was an enemy of the good people, the good working people. I am not sorry for my crime.